It's a rough life in New York
by MusicalRats
Summary: Rachel hasn't seen him this weak for years, and she wonders why he is like this. Investigation ensures.
1. Chapter 1

Rachel didn't notice Kurt until she saw him sprawled out on the couch, wearing joggers from his Sophomore year that was too big for him and a pale blue t-shirt, his face blotchy. That was not right.

"Kurt, when was the last time you got out?" She asked, more demanding than soft.

"Erm. . ." Kurt trailed off quietly, placing the remote for the TV down onto the coffee table. "A few days ago?"

"Why?" Rachel prompted, sitting down tentatively next to him, not wanting to catch any germs. He sniffed quietly, picking at the hem of his t-shirt, obviously upset about something. She had to deal with him before, but she hasn't seen his this weak since McKinley.

" _Where do you think you're going?" A harsh voice called out, pulling Kurt by the back of his collar._

" _Let go!" Kurt sobbed, pulling at his collar to get some air._

" _Don't think so, Fag!" The man pushed Kurt down onto the concrete floor of the mans garage, somewhere that Kurt never wished he knocked on. He was only collecting some sheet music that Rachel found online for a very small amount of money. Kurt felt suspicious that the sheet music was at someone's house, but now he regrets being so naïve. He now gets forced to go back, or else the guy threatened to kill him and his family._

 _Kurt's shirt gets unbuttoned slowly, making sure that there would be no evidence after._

" _Get off me!" Kurt pushes the man, taking a risky move. The man's expression turns grey, and he suddenly stands up, walking over to his desk, where he pulled open a drawer and held a belt tightly. Kurt swallowed, feeling the tears prick behind his eyes._

" _Shut your mouth, slut." The man snapped, throwing Kurt's shirt away. Kurt trembled, wrapping his arms around his chest tightly, sitting up on his knees. The man grinned, running a hand down Kurt's soft back._

" _Let me make your back look manly." He growled, whipping Kurt sharply with the metal of the belt. Kurt let out a sharp cry, letting the tears flow._

" _Rachel."_ Kurt breathed abruptly, stunning Rachel. She looked at him for one second before she was pulled into a strong hug. She knew Kurt wasn't a big fan of touching, so she was pleasantly surprised.

She wrapped her arms around him, feeling him tremble and feeling something wet on her shoulder. _Sweetie._ "Kurt, it's okay," she said, confused at him.

"No." He mumbled, his voice rough.

"Let me help you." Rachel cooed, moving her hand across his back. He let out a strangled cry, and that was where Rachel was forced to sit back.

"No." Kurt looked down, wiping his face.

"Show me." she demanded, pulling Kurt onto her lap. Even if he was much taller than her and much heavier, she could stand it if she was helping him. He squirmed around, stopping only when Rachel wrapped her arms around his torso. "I am not leaving until you show me."

"I refuse." Kurt hissed, scrambling off her lap, falling onto the hard floor, " _craaap."_

"If you want the privacy, come in my room." Rachel offered, trying to pull him up by the armpits, retreating when he slaps frantically at her. "I will get rid of your curtain so that you will never have privacy if you don't tell me!"

"No!" Kurt shouts, making Rachel flinch. "Go away!"

Rachel cups his face gently, moving her thumb across his for too prominent cheekbones, "Look at me. I won't hurt you."

This seemed to trigger Kurt, making his scurry away, sniffing furiously. He went into his "bedroom", and shut the curtains. Rachel wasn't going to give up, but she decided to continue tomorrow, where he would be more calm.

"No!"

Rachel sat up, terrified that someone has got into the loft somehow, but got relaxed after she found out that Kurt was having a nightmare. He had one every so often, and Rachel had gotten used to the night terrors. He would scream, mumble something and fall back asleep, which would seem weird to someone who didn't know him, but it wasn't strange to Rachel.

She laid back, hearing Kurt pant from across the loft, wanting to help him calm down. He always told her to go away when he was sleepwalking or having a nightmare, but she couldn't help but wonder if it had anything to do with what happened earlier.

Sliding out her bed, Rachel wondered over to Kurt's "room", and opened his curtains ever so slightly so that she could walk in. He was curled up in a ball, his back bare from sleeping in only his boxers - due to the hot weather - and bawling his eyes out into a pillow that he was curled into.

Rachel swallowed, shuffling towards his bed, laying down behind him, letting her hug his strong torso. She ran her hands over his chest in a comforting way, so that he would hopefully calm down.

Not long after, Kurt screamed again, kicking her away unconsciously. She pulled back, huffing, and pulled on his waist until he turned over. She curled up in front of his chest and pulled his arms around her, barely comfortable as he wrapped his arms around her tightly.

"It's okay, Kurt." She mumbled, putting her hand that wasn't trapped underneath her into his soft hair, running her fingers through his golden brown hair.

Kurt let out a strangled cry, gripping onto Rachel tighter. He probably stopped her from breathing for a few seconds, but she was too busy trying to calm him down.

As she ran her hands over his shoulder blades, she felt a few lines of skin where the skin was raised and felt like cuts. Kurt cried out as she ran her fingertips over the raised skin, making her suspicious. _Was Blaine hurting him when he went over to Lima a few weeks ago? If so. . ._

She laid him down on his stomach, stroking his hair comfortably. After a few minutes he went back to snoring softly, sniffing every so often. Rachel smiled and placed a kiss to the nape of his neck, happy that she stopped his nightmare.

Reaching for Kurt's phone on his nightstand, she sat on top of him, straddling him. He sniffed, shuffling into a more comfortable position. She froze, switching on his phone silently, using the phone light for a flashlight. She gasped at his back.

 _Every hit Kurt cried out, pushing his nails so hard in his wrists and elbows to try and distract himself. His back felt like it was on fire, and every kick and whip to his back made the pain worse until it was unbearable._

"S _top!" Kurt spluttered out._

" _Say the magic words." The man emphasized each word with a whip. Every whip Kurt cried out, biting into the soft flesh of his hands._

" _I-I -_ ow- _I will c-come back." Kurt sobbed, feeling a pat to his head and the restraints on his ankles, that made sure he wouldn't run away, was un-cuffed and taken off his poor ankles. The guy threw him into his car, forced him to get changed whilst he was still bloody, and drove him back to a candy shop near-ish Kurt's loft. Kurt flat out refused to tell him where he actually lived, and told him that he lived on top of said candy shop. Kurt would always get uber's to the man's place, and let his drive him to the candy shop so that he could stagger back. Rachel was always at the diner in the evenings, so Kurt had a good few hours to sob and get cleaned before she gets back and notices the blood everywhere. He came to a few close calls but other than that, she will never know._

She followed the cuts and bruises down his back with a feather light fingertip, getting off his back to sit by his side so that she could trace down his calves, which had red rings and angry bruises covering them. _Restraints. From who? Blaine wouldn't do this, right?_ His ankles were swollen and looked very sore and tender, so she avoided touching them. She put a hand to her mouth and blinked quickly, staving away tears that were threatening to fall. Who would do this to such a kind and beautiful man, that hasn't done anything wrong but is usually on the receiving side of every bad thing that the world can imagine to give him?

He twitched violently in his fitful sleep, scaring Rachel out of her thoughts. She looked down at him for a few seconds, before deciding to sleep with him, even if there will most likely be consequences.

Kurt hugged the slightly unfamiliar body next to him. . . _Wait. a body?_ Kurt squeaked, moving back quickly and slamming a shoulder blade on his bedside table that stuck out slightly next to his bed. He swore quietly, flopping back down to analyze who was next to him. A mop of hair trailed down the back of who he assumed was his roommate Rachel, who _was_ curled up next to him, and he _was_ spooning her. _Eww._

He didn't remember much from the night before, but he was only in his underwear and felt sticky, meaning that he must have been hot or/and had a nightmare. Then he realised that he was shirtless. And had a nightmare that woke up Rachel. And Rachel must have seen _everything. Shiiiiit._

He was once again sprawled out on the couch, and Rachel could hear the rumbling of his stomach from the kitchen. When she woke up, she saw him on the couch wearing a plain blue t-shirt and matching khaki pants, watching yet another documentary. She decided not to push the situation just yet, and went to make breakfast.

"Kurt! I have made breakfast!" She called out, placing the plate in front of him. He made no response, or movement, so Rachel sat down next to him. She placed a hand on his knee, rubbing gently, letting him know that he can talk to her.

After a while, Kurt sighed, reaching out to place his hand over Rachel's.

"I am sorry." He murmured.

"About what?" Rachel acted oblivious, one of her good skills that she had learnt by dating Finn and Brody.

"About everything. About lying."

"Apology accepted." Rachel smiled, stroking his hair softly. He butted his head towards the hand, liking the affection.

Rachel swallowed, not sure if she should ask a question "I. . . Have one question though."

"Uh-huh."

"Can I see?" She asked tentatively.

"I-I I don't. . ." Kurt stuttered, running his hand through his hair.

"Let me be honest. . .I have seen it." Rachel stopped his moving hand and held it on his thigh.

Kurt felt his throat block up, and his breathing quickened, "no, no, no, no," he chanted quietly. Rachel started to coo at him and tried to calm him down, and settled for letting him climb onto her lap and to hold and cry into her hand. Rachel's free hand tangled in his hair, moving in and out his hair in a slow pattern, soothing him.

He burrowed his face into her stomach, sniffing and crying. "He is going to kill you!" Kurt cried.

"What?" Rachel asked, trying not to shreak and scare him.

"He said he would kill anyone who knew."

Rachel felt Kurts breathing quicken once again, a start of a second panic attack, "Okay, okay, calm down Kurt."

She stroked his hair, kissing his forehead. He hummed, reaching for her hand and squeezing it.

"It's going to be okay. He can't hurt me when he is in prison."

"No! He will!" Kurt was near hysterics.

"It will be okay." She wasn't sure if she was trying to reassure Kurt or herself.

Rachel started to shuffle in her seat, making Kurt know that she wanted to move. He sat up, and Rachel had to wipe her eyes to make sure that she wasn't crying at his unusual outbreak. She led him over to her room, where she shut the curtains securely just on the rare occasion that Santana came back from Dani's house.

Kurt curled up in a ball, wrapping himself in Rachel's pink fleece, basking in the warmth that was frequently taken away from him.

"This is very unlike you Kurt." Rachel pointed out, pushing the hair off his sticky forehead.

Kurt hummed low, picking at his t - shirt, almost like he was agreeing.

"Do you want a drink? I can get you one. . .Or do you want me to stay here?" Rachel asked.

"Stay."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2. Written in season 5, perhaps instead of the hate crime in _Bash,_ but Blaine, Artie, e.t.c. are still at McKinley.

" _Do you want a drink? I can get you one. . .Or do you want me to stay here?" Rachel asked.  
"Stay." _

"Okay," Rachel sat next to his heated body, "but I need to asked you a question."

"Uh-huh." Kurt murmured, shuffling so that his back rested on the pillows and his legs were bent up in front of him.

"What has happened? Did you hurt yourself? Do I need to call NYADA? Or Vogue?" Rachel asked, questions bubbling in her mind, only voicing half her needed questions.

"No, no, no." Kurt shook his head. "There is nothing to be said. Just some painkillers and rest and I will be completely fine."

Rachel raised an eyebrow, but sauntered off to the kitchen area to collect some strong painkillers and water. She heard a whimper be let out when she shut the curtain behind her, but thought to ignore it as it was probably one of the neighbours cats on the fire-exit.

She switched on the T.V. for background noise so Kurt wasn't too uncomfortable, and turned it to a cooking show that they somehow got the signal to.

"Rachel?" She heard a distressed voice splutter out, making her sprint into her room. Kurt was curled up tightly, holding onto her pillow, his hair a mess.

"Oh, sweetie." Rachel sighed, wishing Kurt would tell her what was up.

 _Hmm. Maybe Blainers knows._

"I have painkillers in the kitchen." Rachel suggested, trying to fix Kurt's hair.

"Fine." Kurt croaked out, letting her run back to get the painkillers and hand it to his trembling hands.

"Just swallow it with the water." Rachel instructed, handing him a shot glass of water.

"Thanks."

For the next few days, all Rachel could think about was Kurt and who he would have told. He doesn't go to therapy, and he hasn't got much friends yet in the city, apart from Adam, Elliot and Dani. She was sure that he wasn't that close to them yet, so the only person he _should have_ told was his fiancé.

So, during breaks as to not disrupt her precious learning, she texted Blaine, hoping that he would answer.

 **(11:33) Rachel:**

 **Blaine, I need answers to why Kurt is upset, because he isn't talking to me.**

 **(11:39) Blaine:**

 **I am in Algebra Rachel!**

 **(11:39) Rachel:**

 **Blaine! I need to know! He is sulking in the corner of the classroom here at NYADA, and it is one of his favorite classes!**

 **(11:42) Blaine:**

 **Rachel! My phone went off during one of Miss. Wright's lectures! She is a bitch Rachel, you know that! TTYL!**

 **(11:42) Rachel:**

 **Fine!**

Rachel huffed loudly, which made a few students look up at her with a strange look, yet the teacher carried on like it was part of their daily routines. Rachel looked over at Kurt, leaning over her table slightly to look over the heads of the other students. Kurt was curled up against the wall next to him, his head resting on the wall and his legs were stretched out under the table.

 _But seriously. Kurt is 5ft 11in. No table could fit him._

He was taking notes in a small notebook that Britany sent over for his birthday earlier that year, with a Unicorn drawn across the plain front page that was completely coloured in pink.

To be honest he looked completely bored, his eyes drooping down every few seconds. Rachel leaned back, tempted to text him, and slunk back into her chair.

"Kurt! Kurt!" Rachel spotted his tall quif and squeezed past two Seniors, running down the corridor to where the signs for the clubs and the reception was held. Kurt was looking distressed, surrounded by a few other students in his dance class.

"I am a better dancer than you." Kurt muttered, wrapping his arms around his ribs.

Rachel ran next him, hugging his neck.

"You _do_ have a partner!" One of the students snarled, smirking along with his group.

Rachel thought quickly, and grabbed his left hand and brought it up, "We are engaged!" she blurt out. Kurt looked at her with wide eyes, opening his mouth before closing it.

"Yeah. . ." Kurt looked down, grasping Rachel's hand that she took his left hand with.

"Whatever." They hissed.

The other students wandered away, leaving a very tense Kurt holding a bubbly Rachel's hand. She swayed at between then, and set off towards one of the reception chairs.

"So, I was thinking, how about if we go shopping?" She asked, watching Kurt's face intently. She saw a small smile cross his lips, until his mouth straightened out. "Today. After school."

Kurt hummed, but not in a happy way, and nodded his head. "Okay."

"We can go buy dinner, and look in the fashion stores, and everything!" Rachel raised her hands up in excitement, squealing happily.

Kurt looked at her blankly, as if he forgot what a smile looked like, and nodded his head again.

"Meet me at the subway sharp, and then we can go shopping and go to a restaurant." Rachel grinned, patting his cheek softly.

"Love you!" She called out as she skipped happily down the corridor.

"Love you too." Kurt mumbled.

When Kurt sat down to "eat" lunch, a vibration ran though his pant pockets, telling him that someone actually is trying to call him.

" _Hey Babe."_ Kurt heard Blaine's chirpy voice.

" _Hi."_

" _You okay?"_ Blaine asked, sincerely worried.

" _Of course!"_ Kurt lied, changing his voice to a more happy tone, hoping that Blaine wouldn't realise.

" _Okay?"_ Blaine seemed suspicious. " _Well, I have ordered a flight to New York this weekend, so I hope I can see you!"_

 _Shit._

" _Oh-okay. I am not busy. We can go shopping?"_ Kurt said, adding a little " _I guess"_ under his breath.

" _Awesome!"_

Kurt let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, and let his hand fall from the side of his face, shoving his phone into his previously tailored pants. Now they don't fit as tight as they did, and Kurt couldn't help but imagine how big he looked before. _Ergh._

He stabbed at his food, and decided to shove a piece of pasta into his mouth before packing it away. This is what he has been doing for the last couple of days, and it has become a routine for him. Wake up, eat what Rachel has persuaded him to eat, go to his classes, eat a bit of lunch, go back home, if he is lucky, go to work, come back home and eat - again - what Rachel persuaded him to eat. Same thing. Everyday. Except from the days he sets aside to party, or to sleep. He can't count how many times he has gone over the recommended drinking limit, and can't bare to think what it has/will do to his body, but can't seem to care. Of course he make sure that Rachel can pick him up at a set time, and that he doesn't cheat on Blaine. He would never forgive himself if he did.

"Kurt! Open the door!" Rachel screamed, poking her head out the bathroom hallway. Apparently someone was at the door, and Kurt didn't realise - probably because he was watching a really interesting documentary on their T.V.

Kurt shoved himself up, put on a hoodie that was draped across the back on the sofa, and shuffled towards the door. He grabbed the handle and yanked it open, stumbling a bit from the weight and lack of exercise.

Kurt blinked at the familiar face in front of him, taking in his nice shirt and free hair. "Kurt!" Blaine squealed.


End file.
